A Post Written By My Mom On Her 30th Birthday

Here is a photo of my mom on her 30th birthday. I repeat, this is a photo of my very young mom with her three very young kids helping her blow out her birthday candles.

My 30th may be inching up on me. (But if you’re a talent agent reading this I’m going to tell you it’s my 25th!) Wanna know how I feel about this? Exactly how I look in that photo, that’s how. Confused and sweaty. The story of my childhood.

Thus I present to you,  “If my mom had written a post on her 30th birthday, I imagine it would have gone like this.”

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I can’t believe I turned 30 today! However, this photo was taken two weeks ago in anticipation of today, knowing it would take that long to develop.

I’ve had a great day and am feeling quite lucky. All of the kids bought me new Precious Moments that I can’t wait to add to my collection in our hutch. I’m up to 76 figurines now! And dare I say each and every one of them are … precious to me!

Jay surprised me with a cordless phone! Crazy, I know! I feel so mobile. I can go anywhere around the house (within 3 rooms of where the receiver is on the kitchen wall) and talk to anyone. What will they think of next?

A few of my friends are starting to get “pagers,” but those just seem like a little much for me. I don’t think you can even make a phone call on them, so I just don’t get the point? Why would you want to lug around something extra like that, when you don’t even use it to have a phone conversation? It just seems a little silly to me! Besides, if someone needs to get a hold of me that bad they can leave a message on our answering machine. And if I’m out and about and need to make a call I can just use a payphone, that’s what they’re there for!

Anyway, enough talk about modern technology.

We celebrated my birthday by going bowling tonight at Kings Lanes. In case anyone is wondering it was not a surprise party. Which is fine, because I didn’t think it would be. So I definitely didn’t wear my best acid wash jeans and striped knot-front tee, with my matching striped socks, pink Keds, and dangly watermelon earrings, thinking it would be a surprise party. Because I for sure knew it wasn’t going to be a surprise party. So I was in no way surprised when it was not in fact a surprise party.

Like I said, it’s really been a great day.

The kids didn’t fight much which was very sweet. Jade spent the day playing Barbies and listening to her NKOTB cassette. Jordan played legos and with his My Buddy doll. And Taylor, well I’m not sure what she was up to all day, but if I had to guess I would say she’s back on the bottle. I know that’s terrible to say about your two year old, but look at her, she’s a mess. She’s clearly been drinking. I’m just worried she may grow up to be one of “those adults” who’s never quite ready for adulthood, you know what I mean? Like what if one day she’s about to turn 30 and she spends her days all alone cooped up in an apartment playing make-believe with a dog she swears talks back to her or something?

Or even worse, what if she spends her time corresponding all day with people she’s never met? Like via chain letter or something.

That sounds bad, I don’t mean that. I’m just saying I worry about her. But what mother doesn’t?

What mother doesn’t worry about Taylor, I mean. I’ve heard the whispers. Apparently she doesn’t “play well with others.” While all of the other kids at daycare are in the toy room having fun with each other, Taylor prefers to hang out in the corner talking to her Little Debbies. Some of the kids say she even pets them. I should really stop buying her those Zebra Cakes, but she loves them so.

There I go again, making my birthday post all about the kids!

My twenties were great and I’m excited to see what my thirties bring. I feel blessed and happy to have my kids at the ages they are as I enter into my thirties. I can’t imagine just starting to have children now like my friend, Pam. Of course I would never say that to Pam, but I think she’s okay being an older mom. So good for her! You go, Pam!

I can tell you one thing, after all of this birthday cake I may need to join a fitness center or start doing a little more aerobics. Pam invited me to try a new workout craze called “Jazzercise,” but I think I’ll have to pass. Dancing around in thong leotards just doesn’t seem like something I could get into.

But now I’m getting a little sleepy so it’s time to towel dry my perm, hit the waterbed, and call it a day.

Cheers to another great birthday.

It’s crazy to think it will be 1990 soon! That’s so weird to say. We’ll be living in the 90s, it sounds so modern and chic, just like I’m sure the 90s will be.