How To Be a Fun Aunt

My brother and his wife had their baby this week, a little boy named Hudson Jay. I officially have two nephews, one niece, and three dog niece/nephews.

When I was little I remember my aunts and uncles as adults. Of course I loved being around them, but they were grown-ups to me, not fellow children. For some reason I seemed to have missed that boat with Knox and Lola. I am clearly their equal. I’m going to do better with Hudson.

But then again maybe I’m not? When I think about the things I’ve taught my niece and nephew, it becomes easier to understand why they think of me as a large woman-child. I teach them things their parents probably wouldn’t. (And probably don’t want me to) but that’s the job of a fun aunt, what can I say.

Things such as:

What the middle finger means. Hey, they’re going to find out anyway!

How to turn your hands into a church full of people.

“Fun” songs they should know:

When you’re sliding in first and you feel a little burst…


Miss Suzy had a tugboat, her tug boat had a bell, Miss Suzy went to heaven, her tugboat went to…

Arty Farty Had a Party… 


Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat the more you toot…


And of course the remixes to all Christmas songs.

When singing the “name song” (Anna anna fo fanna be bi bo banna) use fun names like “Chuck” or “Art” or “Ruby.” The fun never ends with this one.

Sleepover pointers:

Dipping the first kid to fall asleep hands’ in water – a classic!
(That was a very hard phrase to write grammatically speaking, I’m sure I got it wrong.)

Also, never fall asleep first.

Always pack your own bag of Doritos. (Blue or red.)

And an extra pair of undies (in case you’re the first to fall asleep, I usually was.)


Ghost story classics like:

The girl with the scarf around her neck because her head will FALL OFF otherwise.

The dog licking the babysitter’s hand but turns out it’s the burglar!

The car flashing their brights every time the man in the backseat tried to kill the driver.
^^^ That one still gets me. ^^^


Fun time-wasters:

How to draw a 3D box.

How to turn the word BOY into a face.

The fancy “S.”

And how to draw a star.

Honestly, this list could go on and on because I’m a library of childhood must-knows. What did I leave out? More importantly, what do you teach your niece and nephew?

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7 Comments

  1. March 30, 2017 / 5:40 pm

    I got in trouble for teaching my 7 and 3 year old nieces, 'Bye Felicia!' I don't see the problem!

  2. March 30, 2017 / 9:59 pm

    I missed the BOY turning into face. I'm always looking for new aunt tricks, so if you could help a girl out.

  3. March 31, 2017 / 4:49 pm

    I told my nephew about cannibalism when he was 4. Luckily he decided only aliens would eat humans. Except for ET. He would never.

  4. May 2, 2017 / 4:04 pm

    this post is so funny to me, and relatable for sure. Also HOW TO TURN THE WORD BOY INTO A FACE! I have never met anyone else (since elementary school) that knows how to do this. I thought my elem school was just magic but here we are and someone across the country and 5 years older than me knew it too. So that's awesome.
    Also, the fancy S you speak of is ACTUALLY in wikipedia as "cool S" and I hope that tickles you as much as it does me.

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