The Maid Of Honor Speech

Dear Diary,

I’m feeling exceptionally intense today. I have a lot on mind.

I’m walking around with that feeling like I have a big track meet tomorrow and I want to do good but I know the 200 meter dash might be a bit of a doozy and I’m already nervous about it. What if I get wobbly legs at the end and can’t finish? What if I pee my pants in the starting block (again)? So many outcomes are unknown.

For starters, T-Shirt Town blew up last night. I got a nice little mention on Instagram and had a record evening for sales. It was wonderful, but it’s also a little scary. Big sale nights = t-shirt trolls crawling out of their holes to grab my designs. And they seem extra hungry right now.

But that’s not where the track feeling is coming from.

The track feeling is about a certain maid of honor speech I have to give on Saturday. I take speeches very seriously. They are my favorite part of a wedding. I judge them hard, but in turn, I fully expect people to judge mine. It’s only fair. And thus the nerves.

It’s added pressure when I know everyone involved with this wedding are funny people. The bride, the groom, the wedding party, it’s a fun group. I can’t help but feel like expectations are high. I’m hearing that voice in my head that says, dance for us, monkey! dance!

I just don’t want to be blown out of the water by the best man speech, you know? I hate when people say, “the guys’ speeches are always funnier.” Because it doesn’t have to be this way. Both speeches can be entertaining.

That’s my goal for Saturday. I want to give heartfelt speech about the bride, that is also enjoyable to watch. Right? Isn’t that what makes a good speech? If that means I have to put on my tap shoes and dance like a money in a top hat, I will do that. It’s my duty as the MOH.

And now like my friend Bad Girl Ri Ri says, it’s time to work, work, work. Pop stars. T-Shirt sellers. One in the same! We’re all living our dreams.

Follow @thedailytay on snapchat for a peak behind t-shirt town today, you will probably get very embarrassed for me a time or two. Chris can’t even watch anymore. LOLS.

It’s almost Fridayyyyyyy. Maybe.