Today we’re going to talk about Chris. Like really talk about him so you guys can get to know the boy I’m going to marry. He doesn’t know I’m doing this, but I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.
First of all, after we get married I will no longer refer to him as Chris. He will become the “hubs” or “hubster” or “Frank.” Just giving you all a forewarning.
He’s the nice one.
Chris is the friendlier one of the two of us. People always like him more than me, my parents included. But I don’t blame them, hell I do too. He’s just got this quality where he can… how do I say it, oh yes, he can talk to people- something I lack. I’ll leave him at a bar for one minute to go to the bathroom and I’ll come back and he has five new best friends.
Sometimes when he’s mean to me I don’t even get that mad because I know I’m probably one of the few people in his life he’s ever been mean to.
Speaking of being mean, occasionally we do bicker. I know this might surprise you because we are clearly a perfect couple, but yes, we do have certain times when we’re not that nice to each other.
What we fight about.
Cleaning. Chris gets mean when he cleans. I think all boys do. He’ll randomly go on a rampage on a Saturday afternoon and clean every nook and cranny and I’ll be damned if I disturb him.
Right before we leave for a trip. This is our favorite time to bicker, it’s a cute couple quirk of ours I think. It doesn’t matter if there’s nothing at all to argue about, we’ll find something and then we’ll drag it out until the very end. Can’t wait for our London trip next week!
Shoving. Chris hates when I “shove” his stuff in places (i.e. put things away.) I hate when he asks me where something is before he even LOOKS. He doesn’t even look and he already blames me for losing it, I tell you what.
What makes Chris tick.
Survival TV shows. Not the actual show “Survivor” but any show where a person is dropped in the wilderness and has to make it on their own. Chris loses his shit for this stuff. Our DVR is full of them and it’s the worst.
He also enjoys a good survival book or book about living in a post apocalyptic world. With zombies. And when all else fails, he’s intrigued by television about digging for gold. So basically if the world ends, Chris will be totally fine. He knows how to survive off berries, dig for gold, and kill zombies.
Facts. Chris knows all the facts (like the useless ones.) I sure hope he’ll get a chance to be on Jeopardy one day because he’d do so good.
Also lately he’s been going to bed while listening to History lessons on his phone, bless his heart. *Sidenote: I wanted to use the term “whilst” up above but I panicked and didn’t. But I think I could have.
Why I like doing life with him.
Because sometimes when we’re super lazy and he says “what should I order in” and I’ll respond something gross (delicious) like, “I’m in the mood for chicken strips, pizza, or chicken wings,” and an hour later everything I just listed will arrive. All of it. His hungover food orders are ridiculous and I love him so much for it.
He also snuggles Harlow like a baby and kisses him on the forehead and it’s just about the best thing ever.
When we talk about winning the lottery, which we often do, Chris is on board with my dream plan to start an animal rescue somewhere out in the wilderness (where Chris can survive on his own obviously) and he’ll do all of the dirty work with the animals. He likes the idea of owning a farm full of hundreds of rescued animals, it’s just a dream, but it makes me happy he’s on board.
And also I have the most fun with Chris. I think that’s pretty important, you gotta do life with someone who brings the fun.
We still haven’t set a date for that wedding of ours. But we’re getting closer. Any day now… Or perhaps we’ll just tie the knot in Europe next week. My mom would love that.
I swear we're marrying twins! Chris sounds exactly like my fiance. Dave is way more likable than me, knows all the useless facts, and would be totally in his element in the event of a zombie apocalypse.