Sometimes when I’m lacking inspiration I’ll scan the popular posts section of Bloglovin just to see what the cool kids are writing about. And almost always after doing so I’m instantly reminded why my posts rarely show up on the All Category Popular Posts. For starters, I don’t have 20k followers on Bloglovin, my photos don’t look professional, and I don’t enjoy making pumpkin spice funnel cakes from scratch. I enjoy eating funnel cakes, that is true, but only when they’re served to me from a one toothed carny named “Tug” at the D.C. Lynch Carnival located in the Sunset Plaza parking lot in Norfolk, Nebraska.
But I digress.
Right now at this very minute, this is what is popular in blogland according to Bloglovin. So take notes, blog friends. Because if you suck, these posts can help.
How To Make Food posts.
About 80% of the popular posts are recipes. Understandably so, people will always love food. But the thing that gets me is that some of these food posts aren’t REAL food. The Perfect Tasting Kale Chip? Nothing about that sentence makes sense. There is no such thing as the perfect tasting kale chip. The Kale Chip That Tastes Least Like Shit would be more applicable.
Pumpkin Pecan Apple Spice Nutmeg Crumbled Granola. Who has time to make their own granola? WHO? Why not save some time and money and invite me over to your house and then I’ll just beat you over the head with several granola bars. Within minutes you’ll have a nice full bowl of crumbled”homemade” granola.
Chai Latte Sweet Potato Pumpkin Flavored Cupcake. Let’s get really crazy and just have a pumpkin flavored pumpkin recipe.
How To Transition To Autumn Makeup posts.
I had no idea these beauty posts were so popular. But according to Bloglovin, they are. Before I transition to autumn, perhaps I should transition to 2014. I’m still using the same eye shadow pack I got in 2012 when it was on sale after summer… I should probably be reading more of these beauty posts.
My makeup look is typically whichever eye shadow looks the least scary. But after I run out of the good solid golds and browns, I’ll start using those scary blues and dark greys. I’m not just going to let them go to waste, am I?
How To Wear A Chunky Sweater posts.
You just do, right? Wrong. Turns out there are specific ways this fall to wear a chunky sweater. My thought process was, hey I’m feeling chunky right now, better put on a chunky sweater. But that’s not how it works. You have to wear them with skinny skinny pants and chunky healed ankle boots and a floppy hat with huge sunglasses. The goal is to make yourself completely disappear apparently.
I just bought a great chunky sweater at Urban the other and when I tried it on for Chris he looked at it and said, well it’s not very flattering. Duh Chris, that’s why it’s called chunky. Get with it.
How To Go Apple Picking posts.
Apple picking is all the rage right now. If you haven’t done it, just stop blogging right now. Go get some kids and some chunky sweaters and some flannels and go pick some damn apples already.
Run through the fields, kiss some scarecrows and just let your freak flag fly at the apple farm. Apple farms are so hot right now.
How To Wear A Hat posts.
Finally! Am I right? If you were confused like I was, just find one of these great tutorial posts (Bloglovin has quite a few) and let this great mystery stump you no more!
Wearing a hat doesn’t have to be like playing a Rubix cube! You can do it. Just face your fear and you’ll see how silly it was all along.
There you have it, just a few things that are trending in blogland right now.
And make sure to follow me on Bloglovin here. Duh.
Okay byeeeeee.
I once succumbed to the pressure and tried to make granola in my crock pot. It only took one experiment for me to learn it's just easier to buy it from Trader Joe's.
This is the funniest thing I have read all week. Thank you! 😀
This post is hilariously accurate!
DIY Fall wreaths are really in too…
Amy
Champagne and Pearls
I'm just waiting for #Blogtober to start! Lots of ideas there. Your posts always crack me up daily 🙂 Thanks
um…HOW to go apple picking? Maybe I should stop blogging if the readers out there are so dense.
I am sitting here cackling at my desk and trying not to look crazy. I love this post so much, it should definitely be the hottest thing on Bloglovin' right now. I mean seriously, how many different ways are there to wear a chunky sweater??
Nailed it again!
You crack me up! I literally laughed out loud at the kale comment and the sweater one! Too funny – and very interesting! So glad I found your blog!
http://www.madeintheshadeblog.com
You forgot the posts about how to make an autumn wreath using homemade granola.
By the way, I wore a "Talk Herbie to Me" shirt in Lincoln last weekend and everyone was jealous.
dangit taylor. you steal all the good post ideas.
This is absolutely hilarious and SO true. Some popular posts I have also seen are the perfect autumn decor.
This is pure gold.
HAHA fall all of the things. Too bad we're headed into Spring in Australia…
I'm amazed by how many people are out there that need someone to tell them or show them how to do something as simple as wearing a chunky sweater or a hat…. yipes!
Sometimes I think blogging is just a vicious cycle of recycled information. If you think about it, we have basically just created a world that we have to maintain. We just put so much time into something that wouldn't exist if we didn't put time into it… I am not making any sense. All I know is that this post made sense. I see so many similar posts in the blog world. I can at least count on you to be original. So THANK YOU!
Hilarious and accurate. I should go post about the contents of my makeup bag… and maybe I'll include the dust from the exploded bronzer at the bottom. Seems blogworthy to me.
I just died laughing at my cubicle 🙂 Amen sister, I will never get on the popular page of any social media. My family and a select few friends, just aren't enough followers to deem me "popular"! Haha, your list sounds like Pinterest with words… xoxo, ganeeban
This is hilarious! I'm honestly convinced that Bloglovin' has no idea the lifestyle blogging community exists, or that there's more to it than food, fashion/beauty, and travel. First the awards, and you're right – every time I look at "top posts" I'm just like, where are my bloggers?
HAHAHAHAHA i looooooove your version of how to make granola. seriously who are those people?
OH my, this post had me giggling! You are funny!
Yes, people are definitely over-thinking autumn! How about pumpkin colored chunky sweaters?
I think you totally missed out on the "how to blog" advice posts..
Oh golly, I suck and I am going to keep on sucking – I don't have ANY of those posts and it's Spring in the Southern hemisphere so there is nothing "Fall" about my posts (which we call Autumn here anyway!) x
I'm so excited that it's fall!
Just woke up laughing, so thanks for that. Reality checks like this are 90% necessary for 100% of blogland. You da best.
lovelovelove,
Erica
cominguprosestheblog.com
You crack me up! Whenever I need to laugh, I just come visit you. Thanks!
I love this 😀
http://www.jaseyjade.blogspot.com
haha you are hilarious! Apple picking.. really got me!
Andrea // CocoDrizzle
Hahahahahahaha this was the best.
this. is. awesome. oh and the apple picking thing? yeah, I've totally had thoughts like "damn, why can't I have a kid to take apple picking so I don't look like the creepy older person hanging out around little kids" haha
I have zero desire to pick apples or wear hats or make my own granola. And I am totally happy with my 2012 eyeshadow as well, lol
I love Bloglovin's feed reader aspect, but the popular posts and blogs drive me crazy. And their blog awards? Gag me.
This is hilarious! Hahaha I love that you aren't so formal in your posts. Makes you very personable 🙂 I feel the same way… I just blog what I'm thinking about. I don't get how people come up with these super complicated weird recipes that I would never want to eat…
A great post! I had such a good laugh right now!
At this point I have to admit, that I belong to those people who tried making granola themselves. It was actually quite tasty and not too hard to make, but to be honest: The store bought granola is a lot more crunchy! And this is the best part about granola. Am I right??
"let your freak flag fly at the apple farm" this sentence made me laugh the most and I have to agree with the others – the part about apple picking was truly the best. A highly enjoyable an refreshing post 🙂
Hahaha I absolutely love this. I feel like this all the time!
Hahahah. How to wear a hat. Step 1….
Ahaha!!! This is hilarious! Read it at work and the apple picking one made me bust up! <333
Haha, this is one of the most truthful things I have read about blogging! Thanks for the laugh 🙂
Haha! I love this post!