Doing Stand Up In Norfolk

Let’s time travel back to last night for a second.

As a last minute decision, I had agreed to be “the entertainment” for a Norfolk realtor board dinner. And no, I didn’t really know what a realtor board dinner was either, but they said they’d pay me so I said sure, I’ll tell some jokes. My sister is a realtor and she told me it would be a “young-ish crowd.”

“Youngish” to her is apparently a loose term. When I walked inside the Norfolk Country Club last night I didn’t see anyone under the age of… not young-ish. Which is totally fine, I’ll tell jokes to anyone. However some of the things I reference, like Full House or Facebook for example, might not hit so well. And in hindsight, telling jokes at a country club in general might be a red flag. I prefer a dark seedy bar full of drunk people. But like I said, they were paying me. Comedians don’t turn down paying gigs. They don’t turn down any gig.

When I sat down at the table the first thing the older man sitting next to me said was, “So you’re the entertainment huh? Well tell us some jokes.” Dance for us, monkey! Dance! I love when people tell me to do that. Just love it. Anyway, he was actually a really nice guy and had experience telling some jokes himself. He told me just a few weeks ago he’d gotten in trouble for telling a few “questionable” stories at their annual church get together…

As soon as he said church jokes I started to get very nervous.

And I knew my jokes might not hit so well with this crowd. I’m not a raunchy comedian by any means, but I am a fan of the dark arts. The darkest jokes are my favorites. I’ve tried to stray, but I can’t. The heart wants what the heart wants.

But tonight I needed to re-think my plan. So I quickly began rewriting my set in my head, trying to make it as PG as possible. Norfolk people are wonderful people, don’t get me wrong. But they are a bit more conservative than your average crowd that goes to a comedy club in Chicago. At one point in my set last nigh I started talking about how I think it’s wonderful gay people can marry each other and I actually saw one woman shake her head at me and flare her nostrils.

But I continued on never the less.

In the end, I think it went okay. I didn’t give the crowd enough credit. Besides a few sticklers, they all had a really good sense of humor. My biggest fan was the 85 year old man who sat at my table who I think could have gotten up and told his own slew of dirty jokes for a good thirty minutes or so. And I also managed to book events in every small town surrounding Norfolk… Looks like my dream of doing a comedy tour across Nebraska might actually come true.

It’s a weird feeling though, walking into a room of people and knowing it’s your job to tell jokes and make them laugh. I can’t wait to do it again tonight in Lincoln at Duffys and open for CHRIS REID. I put them in caps to make sure you can capture my excitement.

Have a good Friday. I’ll be embarking for Lincoln in about five hours. I can’t wait to see my pals, it’s been to long. I’m ready to get Lincoln’d.