Happy ThanksFauxgiving!

Oh Monday, you always seem to show up far too soon.

After thirty minutes of sitting in the waiting room at the vet (with Harlow on my lap, of course) and barking at everyone and everything that walked in (I was in a grumpy mood, what can I say), followed by an hour in the patient room, and a $100 vet bill with three bottles of pills I have to toss down his throat for the next week, we are finally back home. It turns out Harlow has a “food allergy” and needs to be put on a special diet- just like the rest of America, am I right? And this whole time I’ve always made fun of those who are gluten free, yeast free, sugar free, food free, blah, blah, blah because I thought it was just a bunch of hype. Me, the ignorant little fool, would say things like, well the pilgrims ate gluten, they turned out okay. The pilgrim dogs however, didn’t turn out so well apparently.


Because now here I am having to buy Harlow $75 bags of special food because of his “food allergy” that makes his ear itchy and his eyes watery. Moral of the story, don’t judge others and their fake allergies, because they’re probably not fake.

In all honesty I haven’t got much reason to complain today. I’m just an angry little elf on account of the great weekend I’m coming down from. Like I always say, the best weekends make for the worst Mondays.

On Friday my mom and sister talked me into coming back to Nebraska with them to catch an Eagles concert at Lincoln’s newest concert venue, the Pinnacle Arena. Because I’m a huge fan of the Eagles, and all other music from that era thanks to my dad, I said sure. And let me tell you what, Lincoln is just booming. Would you just look at this fancy new building?

We were all commenting on the crazy sky from this evening, most of us not realizing the tornados that were running amuck through small towns in Nebraska just about sixty miles away.

The concert tailgating happens in a spot called “The Rail Yard,” which is an open area surrounded by a bunch of outdoor bars, some might say it’s pretty similar to Kansas City’s Power and Light District. Do I like Power and Light District, you might ask if you’re familiar with that area? Yes I do, permitted I’m a forty-year-old woman from Topeka, Kansas on my bachelorette party for my third marriage to my second cousin, yes in that case I do. In any other case, no I don’t.

However, I think Lincoln’s Rail Yard is still pretty cute and isn’t completely douchey- yet. But if someone puts in a “Shark Bar” or a “Howl At The Moon” all hope is lost. But that’s just my opinion. Like I’ve said before, I’m just more partial to dirty hole-in-the-wall bars that most don’t even know exist.

And since I was in Nebraska for the weekend, it only made sense to go to the football game on Saturday. Chris was supposed to be on a hunting trip in South Dakota (thus the reason for the beard) but it got cancelled because of snow storms so he un-expectantly flew in, as well. So we made the best of it, it was our only choice.

My favorite bloody Mary in Lincoln award goes to The Tavern.  It used to be The Bar, but Tavern goes the extra mile with that little slice of meat on the skewer that just makes all the difference.  We went to Lazlo’s and ordered some Bloodys, but I’m sad to say it was literally the worst thing I’ve ever tasted. I politely asked the bartender if I could add a shot of beer, or water, or cough syrup- really anything to make it not taste like I was drinking a salt stick, but he just glared at me and said “No, this is our mix.” He wouldn’t even take the drinks back, it was pretty odd. Lazlo’s is typically a pretty good restaurant in the Haymarket, I can’t help but wonder if perhaps the bartender was hammered.

And following the game my parents kidnapped me and brought me back to Norfolk. My mom bribed me with the promise of a turkey dinner on Sunday evening. Naturally, I took the bribe. Lola bribed me with the promise of wearing twin bird sweaters. Naturally, I took that bribe, as well.

But after a plate full of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and cranberry jello, I woke up this morning thinking I should go black Friday shopping or turn a football game on the TV. So next time my mom suggests ThanksFauxgiving, I’m going to suggest a BlackFauxFriday, as well. It just makes the most sense.

Happy Monday, kids. Each day that passes brings us one day closer to the holidays.